• on January 31, 2016 in Uncategorized
  • In case you were wondering, getting engaged, buying a house, getting married and having a baby all in one year does not a sane person make. I should have opened a restaurant and moved to a new country just to make sure. But I just want to make one thing clear: I did not get married because I got pregnant. I got pregnant so I wouldn’t have to go on a diet for my wedding. Duh.

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  • on April 16, 2013 in Uncategorized
  • Because I’d much prefer to brood or make myself cry, I think it’s harder to find music to listen to when I’m happy. Bummer. Oh wait! Now I have something to be upset about again. Win win!

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  • on October 17, 2012 in Uncategorized
  • When is summer over in Los Angeles? I understand that this is a first world problem, but I don’t have air conditioning in my car and I am over it. I have a very long commute and if I wanted to do Bikram yoga twice a day I would do just that. I live in Southern California for a reason and since none of those dreams have come true then how about I at least get the temperate weather? It’s been summer since like February and it’s currently October. And how dare some Republican non-scientist tell me global warming is a farce? How about you (unnamed republican non-scientist) ride with me in my car from East L.A. to Santa Monica at high noon whilst you’re sweating out the bourbon you had at lunch out because it’s suffocating in my mini cooper in October? Then we’ll talk.

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  • on July 7, 2011 in Blogsie
  • Conversation I had with my kitten, Elroy:

    (I step out of shower; he is euthanizing a box of tampons.)


    ME: Elroy! What are you doing?

    Elroy: (Blank stare followed by two blinks.)

    ME: Elroy, cats don’t need tampons.

    Elroy: (Blank stare; mass destruction continues.)

    ME: I can find a place to put one of those if you’d like, sir.

    Elroy: (Blank stare; walks off with tampon in mouth.)


    I go to work. He wins.

    As you can see, Elroy is not afraid.


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